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Why Does 77 Seconds of Jimmy Fallon and Paris Hilton Talking About NFTs Feel Like Three Hours?

This is simply a clip of two people talking about NFTs. Granted, they’re two extremely recognizable people, but still, it’s just a conversation about non-fungible tokens. You’ve probably had just such a conversation yourself, most likely in some sort of “I don’t totally understand it” context. The clip is a minute and 17 seconds long — fairly digestible in terms of online content. So why does it feel like it will never end?

So many questions, even going beyond the “Now what is an NFT exactly?” line of interrogation. Why are they talking about their cartoon monkey avatars with all the enthusiasm of a man whose just got a notification that his screentime was up 54 percent last week? Why does Hilton say she wanted one that looks like her as she shows us a picture of one that does not? Who is this for? Is this what celebrities talk about now? “Hey, did your monkey NFT yet?” Are they that bored? Why are they buying NFTs? Circling back: What is an NFT exactly? No, on second, don’t answer that. We’re good.

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Except we’re not good. Or, at least, Paris Hilton and Jimmy Fallon are clearly not good. These are two people who have spent most of their adult life mastering the art of making trivial nonsense entertaining. They have been paid more money than any of us will ever see in our lifetimes to keep eyeballs on the screen. And yet here, their conversation strikes the tone of two AI algorithms interacting after being programmed with exactly one human conversation. About NFTs.

Which is why we don’t want to know what NFTs are. At some point someone explained it to Fallon and Hilton and now they appear to be stuck in some sort of hostage situation, so ignorance seems to be not only bliss but very likely freedom and possibly even life itself. You can watch the rest of their conversation here, if you want. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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