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Candy Is Actually Not Bad For You, Says Candy Makers

Great news everyone! A new study that was funded by the National Confectioners Association has uncovered some fascinating new research dispelling decades-old myths perpetuated by so-called “medical experts”, curmudgeonly dentists and mean ‘ole parents, about the ill health effects of eating too much candy. According to their groundbreaking research, “Frequency of candy consumption was not associated with the risk of obesity, overweight/obesity, elevated waist circumference, elevated skinfold thickness” or other terrible anti-candy lies perpetuated by the people who obviously hate fun. So, who is this “National Confectioners Association” that has helped bring such revolutionary science to light? They’re the group that represents the gum, chocolate and candy industries …

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