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Child Suspended For a Gun-Shaped Pop-Tart

Child Suspended For a Gun-Shaped Pop-Tart

Park Elementary School in Baltimore isn’t taking any prisoners when it comes to gun control, and 7-year-old John Welch is the latest to feel the brunt of their zero tolerance policy towards violence and food that could be construed to be indicative of violence. The incident in question occurred after John’s afternoon snacking on a Pop-Tart took an artistic bent.

“All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain,” John told local news. “But, it didn’t look like a mountain really and it turned out to be a gun kinda.” Faced with a dilemma that has plagued artists for centuries, teachers say he went on to hold the Pop-Tart like a gun and say bang bang. “It was already a rectangle,” John said mournfully. “And I just kept on biting it and biting it and tore off the top and it kinda looked like a gun but it wasn’t,” Nevertheless, the Pop-Tart was confiscated and John was suspended for two days …

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