Spooky season is officially here, which means it is finally acceptable to scare your friends for fun and they can’t get mad at you. It also means that those who want to these their bravery and fearlessness can visit haunted houses intended to scare you and make you call out to God. But no haunted house can accomplish this task quite like a good old-fashioned church Hell House.
If you don’t know what a Hell House is, consider yourself #blessed. You haven’t had to witness the theater kids in your local youth group act their hearts out, posing in scenes of various degrees of iniquity and eternal torment. From drunk driving to teen pregnancy, no sin (or “sin”) is spared fro Hell House depictions. We recently asked RELEVANT Podcast listeners to share their personal Hell House stories, and the responses were…eye-opening. There was no way we could keep these to ourselves, so here are your most hellish Hell House experiences.
Choices, choices, choices
Have you ever wondered what the end of your life will be like? Plenty of us have pondered this question and we don’t know the answer in detail. But we can confidently say there won’t be any buttons involved.
Was This Pastor a Theater Kid?
This was clearly not this church’s first rodeo, er, Hell House. Most just end with participants walking out with a bible tract or flyer, but not this church! No, participants had to witness their beloved(?) youth pastor’s faux funeral service. I have to say, while I am appalled by this idea, I appreciate the commitment to the character.
Mel Gibson in a Hell House Kind of Makes Sense
Lots to unpack here so let’s just get into it. First off, condolences to Kristen for having the same name as a demon-possessed woman. That adds a whole other level of scariness to this scene. Second, who thought Mel Gibson needed to be part of the Hell House? Who approved that? I just want to talk. Third, the form to “commit your life to Jesus” is perhaps the most terrifying part of this whole recap. And lastly, Kristen, why was your 7th grade self at a Hell House?!
And the Oscar Goes to…
If you have any video/photo evidence of this stellar performance, we’d be happy to see it.
“Rolled out of hell in a stretcher” is a line that will stick with you forever.
Surely there’s more context to this story, right? RIGHT?!
Something’s not right here…
Why was someone coming at you with a circular saw? I think that may have been a real serial killer because I cannot think of a single sin situation where someone would be chasing you with a circular saw.
No offense, but this is the most baptist thing I have ever heard
Let me start by saying I grew up Baptist, so I know what I’m talking about. A hope house, while slightly cheesy as names go, does sound like a much, much more inviting place than a Hell House.