In a society where everything seems to revolve around finding the love of your life and updating your relationship status on Facebook, it can be challenging to feel content in a season of singleness. But that doesn’t mean it’s not possible.

Contentment is all about a shift in your perspective—a daily decision to trust God in all circumstances and to see Him at work in every chapter of your life. Here are a few keys to contentment during a season of singleness:

Cultivate a Heart of Gratitude

Your praise and thanksgiving is a powerful weapon. Instead of focusing on what you lack, remember and acknowledge all that you have. By doing so, you can fight those feelings of discouragement and give God the opportunity to remind you of His favor and many blessings.

Singleness is not God’s way of depriving you or punishing you. Don’t get so caught up in hoping and searching for a significant other that you forget about all the blessings God has given you—in other important relationships in your life, in the talents He’s given you, even in whatever freedoms you are able to enjoy as a single person. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, it says that we should “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Invest in Your Family/Friend Relationships

Cherish every moment, conversation and experience with the people you love. Although family and friends will always be a part of your life, relationship dynamics change when that “special someone” enters the scene. As a single, you have the ability to dedicate your time and primary focus to nurturing these family and friend relationships. By looking beyond our own personal gratification, our vision is cleared and our awareness of others’ needs increases.

Pursue Your God-Given Dreams

Regardless of your relationship status, go after your goals, dreams and God-given aspirations. Do not wait! One of the biggest mistakes singles often make is waiting to chase their dreams until they have someone to do so with them. In doing so, they miss out on the wonderful things this season has to offer.

Don’t put your ambitions and passions on hold until you find someone. Rather, as you dedicate your time and energy to fulfilling God’s call on your life, He will bless you with a teammate along the way—someone who will support your endeavors and challenge you to become all that you can be.

Maintain High Standards

The longer you’re single, the more tempting it can be to just date whoever expresses interest, even if you know you’re not compatible. Don’t settle for second best or get caught up in the wrong relationships out of desperation. Obviously, there’s no perfect person who will meet every one of your expectations, but you shouldn’t compromise your core standards.

Keep Up Spiritual Practices

Regardless of your relationship status, things like prayer, time in the Word and journaling are important for keeping your spiritual life healthy. Prayer not only brings you peace, but it reminds you of who is in control. We often take this responsibility upon ourselves as though we have the capability to orchestrate every tiny detail of our lives. However, the truth of the matter is God has asked us to surrender our plans to Him—trusting that He knows best.

Instead of spending your time worrying, dive into Scripture and allow God’s Word to replenish your soul. I like to think of God and His words as the ultimate power source. When we plug into this power source, we receive His joy, strength and wisdom.

Surrender Control

In a season of singleness, it is easy to doubt God, especially when we can’t see the big picture. It can be tempting to think that it’s your responsibility to go out and find someone. But as you practice patience, be encouraged and know that as you wait and seek God, He is working behind the scenes and orchestrating your larger story. He is shaping you and maturing you into the man or woman He has called you to be. If God knit you together in your mother’s womb, then He must understand you better than anyone else. Do you trust Him with your future? Do you believe He knows not only what is best for you, but the timing in which it will all pan out?

Encourage and Serve Others

During this season, God has given you tasks and responsibilities to serve and provide lasting hope to those in need. Whether serving on the mission field, on your school and church campus or in your local community, you have a unique purpose and contribution to society. Every act of kindness, loving embrace or word of encouragement makes a difference in the global community. Changing the world begins with you.

God’s plan for your life is beyond anything you could ever dream up on your own, and His plan for you doesn’t begin or end with you finding a spouse. Let Him turn your worries and anxieties into contentment for the present and great excitement and anticipation for what lays ahead. Give God the pen and let Him write your story. It is going to be amazing. 

3 comments
  1. I agree with the points this article makes, but I take issue with the way it frames singleness as a negative–as a season to struggle/grow through. I’m not discounting that it’s hard for many of us to navigate life without a significant other, but being single offers many unique gifts, such as being able to give full attention to caring for and uplifting others. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7: 32-35, “An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” That last part–“So that you may live…in undivided devotion to the Lord”–is huge! Singleness gives us a gift of time and a unique vantage point on our world. I may never again have the opportunity I have now to speak into my single friends’ lives, and I want to cherish every moment.

  2. Great article Erin. I really felt an anointing on your article. I believe that God has a purpose for our lives and sometimes we can not focus on that purpose if we have a family or are in a deep relationship. We become unfocused, stressed out and we can easily give up on our dreams because relationships take a lot of time and effort to make them work. That is not to say that God will not send you anyone while you are working on your purpose. All I am saying is if you are single right now then use that time to glorify God and find ways to use your talents to help other people. I honestly believe that there is a season for everything. There is a season to be single and a season to find love. If you do not remember anything else please remember this: God prepares us before He gives us anything. God would never give us anything to hurt us. He is not a God of confusion but a God of peace. Be obedient to His will and in due season God will give you the desires of your heart.

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