I’m a workaholic. Many people probably don’t think so because I have no income at the moment, but I can guarantee I am. I take a very heavy load in school; I’m a leader of a church plant; I write, record and perform music; I do freelance graphic design; and I’m about to get a job because I’m completely broke. So what can I do to remedy this problem?
I honestly don’t think life is meant to be lived this way. I don’t think God intends it.

Often, I expend so much energy into all of the responsibilities of my day that I am left with little for my family and friends except some casual conversation. This is not healthy. This creates a life that will appear prosperous but will be void of success.
How much will it really be worth in the end? Will I become a parent who works so hard and so much to provide for his family that I will actually never have the time to build a relationship with them? Will I swap my definition of success from its emphasis on friendships, family and my God to diplomas, dollar signs, hit-and-run mission work and the items I own? Will I continue to miss out in touching someone with true love, the type that leaves someone different than how they were found, because I am too exhausted to give or receive such love? What type of man am I becoming? What type of man have I become? Part of the answer – a workaholic.

How sad.

I don’t care how many times I’m told it’s okay to be so driven, deep down I know it’s less than what life should be. But I believe I can change. I believe God will give me the strength to do things bigger than myself. He has many times before. But it’s not very fair for me to expect God to change my attitudes and direction in life without any effort on my end. Perhaps I need to cut back on the music. Perhaps I need to cut back on the hours at school. Perhaps I need to spend more time with my family. Perhaps I need to spend more time with people who have not accepted Jesus as savior. Perhaps I need to learn to take things a little slower. To stop and swim inside the world around me. I live a life that is so full of beauty I’m often not sure what to do. But the thing not to do is move so fast I don’t even see anything around me.

When is this whirlwind going to end? I tell myself I’ll change in a few years. But if I say I’ll change a few years from now, why not just a couple of years? If a couple of years, why not later this year? If later this year, why not this month. If this month, why not now?

Why not now