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12 Christian Reality Shows America Wants

Somehow, the reality show genre continues producing high ratings at (relatively) low production costs. Networks keep finding ways to keep old reality show concepts (relatively) fresh and America tuned in.

But there’s one twist they haven’t tried yet. Instead of casting the token awkward Christian contestant, what if they gave the whole show a churchy twist? That’s what everyone really wants to see.

So here are a few pitches to answer the people’s cry for more Christian reality TV (You’re welcome, network execs):

Potlucks, Picnics and Fellowships

Guy Fieri visits underrated and unique church gatherings around the US of A. Shut the front door of your carpeted gym, these are Southern Baptist-size servings and the wildest ingredients in Flavortown. Special guest appearances by every casserole lady stereotype ever.

Baptism Tank

Mark Cuban and three megachurch pastors evaluate Acts 29 church planter plans.

“We’ve seen multi-site and home church. We want something with a patent.”

Catfishers of Men

Victims discover that people witnessing to them were actually atheists the whole time. “Next, you’re going to tell me that K-LOVE is not safe for the whole family, aren’t you?”

Undercover Pastors

Disguised clergy work as restaurant servers on Sunday afternoons to get authentic feedback on sermons. Some of the helpful tips arrive transcribed on tracts that look like $100 bills.

Keeping Up With the Calvanists

Why marry Yeezus, when you were predestined to be the bride of Christ? This reality series is for everyone who has ever asked, “Why are these people famous?” Just when you thought the absurdity of the zeitgeist proves free will, this show presents evidence for the contrary.

The Real Housewives of the Nursery

On this spinoff, you won’t see as much Botox—or any cloth diapers. The entire show is sponsored by Mrs. Meyer’s earth-friendly non-toxic multi-surface cleaner. Parents will secretly be given a second pager from the production crew for situations that actually need their attention.

Big Brother: Lock-In

Youth group leaders vote to see who stays in the community the longest in a simulated youth group all-nighter lock-in experience without the students. The last remaining couple gets to watch a PG movie together with the lights on.

See Also

America’s Next Top Youth Pastor’s Wife

After widespread Christian support of politicians with an interest in pageantry, show runners expect a ministry beauty contest to be a big hit. To make winning more challenging, contestants won’t be able sing or play the piano to impress the judges.

Whose Announcement Is It Anyway?

A standup/improv show filmed before and during offering. Weekly winners get to be included in the sermon podcast.

Preschoolers & Pulpits

Move over “Toddlers & Tiaras!” These first graders preach their way to book deals. Or therapy. Maybe both.

Amazing Race

How fast can you pass proselytize on six different continents? The first pair to complete each challenge gets 100 bonus Instagram likes (from network interns and employees).

Pimp My Pastor’s Ride

Various megachurch pastors from Texas host a surprise makeover each week to illustrate how the (prosperity) gospel can seriously upgrade your whip. The catch phrase of each reveal is, “Low profiles show off your humility.”

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