We can’t explain it, but Hollywood loves live-action movies.
There’s something studios can’t resist about turning beloved cartoons from our childhood into live-action films, despite absolutely no one asking for it. Disney in particular is leading the charge with live-action remakes of all their classics, from fairytales to the upcoming Lilo and Stitch movie. Or there’s Sega, releasing surprisingly successful live-action tales of Sonic the Hedgehog.
What we’re saying is that it won’t be long before executives start looking for other options, and we know what should come next: a live-action VeggieTales film.
Hear us out.
Yes, they are vegetables. Yes, in real life they wouldn’t bounce around and wear costumes and sing silly songs. But who cares! Are you really going to sit there and say that you wouldn’t be curious about a live-action remake? Of course you would be. It’s why everyone tuned into the live-action remake of The Lion King because we all needed to see it with our own eyes.
The big issue is going to come down to the voice cast. There’s a million different ways to go with this, but after careful consideration, we’ve got it all figured out:
Bob the Tomato – Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks is known for his ability to portray characters with a heartwarming and authoritative presence, much like Bob the Tomato. Just think about his roles Forrest Gump or Toy Story, which have shown his knack for bringing animated characters to life with emotion and depth. Hanks’ versatility and everyman appeal would allow him to embody Bob’s role as the level-headed, moral compass of the group. Plus, he’s Tom Hanks! What more convincing do you need?
Larry the Cucumber – Ryan Gosling
Ryan Gosling’s quick wit and playful humor make him a perfect fit for Larry the Cucumber. Gosling has spent the last year receiving some well-deserved praise for his comedic role as Ken. Not to mention, Gosling has the singing down as well, which will be perfect for any and all “Silly Songs With Larry.” If Gosling can deliver an Oscar-worthy performance about a Ken doll struggling with identity issues, surely he can give us the energy we need for “Oh, Where Is My Hairbrush?”
Junior Asparagus – Jacob Tremblay
Jacob Tremblay has already proven his capability to handle major roles in films at a young age, making him ideal for Junior Asparagus. His performances in Room and Wonder showcase his ability to convey a wide range of emotions, from innocence to maturity, which are essential for Junior’s character. Tremblay’s youthful energy and charm would resonate well with Junior’s curious and kind-hearted nature. Some might argue he’s getting too old to effectively portray Junior’s childlike wonder, but we know he’s got the acting chops to pull it off.
Laura Carrot – Mckenna Grace
Mckenna Grace is the young female actress of her generation. She’s played the younger version of dozens of actresses, most notably Kiernan Shipka, so it’s time for her to get her own spotlight. She’s often drawn to roles that have portrayed her as a bright and spirited character, much like Laura Carrot. She can be enthusiastic, emotional and everything in between.
Archibald Asparagus – Benedict Cumberbatch
Archibald Asparagus is a vegetable of intelligence and a sophisticated accent, which is why Benedict Cumberbatch is the man for the job. Cumberbatch can portray sophisticated, articulate characters with a flair for the dramatic, like Sherlock Holmes or Dr. Strange, which aligns well with Archibald’s persona. Plus, did you hear him as Smaug in The Hobbit? He’s got the perfect voice to bring Archibald’s animated character to life. Cumberbatch’s ability to balance seriousness with a touch of humor would add depth to Archibald’s character.
Pa Grape – Tommy Lee Jones
Known for his roles in movies like Men in Black and No Country for Old Men, Jones has a proven ability to portray characters that are both serious and endearing. His rugged yet approachable persona would fit Pa Grape’s character as a wise and sometimes stern figure. Jones’s talent for delivering lines with a gruff exterior that hints at a deeper warmth would be ideal for bringing out Pa Grape’s mentor-like qualities. Additionally, who doesn’t love a Tommy Lee Jones voiceover?
Madame Blueberry – Meryl Streep
Meryl Streep’s unparalleled versatility and depth as an actress would absolutely allow her to capture Madame Blueberry’s elegance and emotional journey. Streep has the ability to portray Madame Blueberry’s transformation from materialism to finding true happiness. If the same actress can play both Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada and Donna in Mamma Mia!, then she’s the only one who can accurately bring Madame Blueberry to life.
Mr. Lunt – Danny DeVito
We’re not debating this one. You all know we’re right. Moving on.
Petunia Rhubarb – Anne Hathaway
Anne Hathaway has got the grace and versatility an actress would need to bring Petunia Rhubarb’s character to life. She’s got an awkward kindness about her, but she can easily handle more emotional scenes with ease, too. Don’t believe us? Have a Princess Diaries marathon and then get back to us about our (correct) casting choice.
LarryBoy – Chris Hemsworth
Hear us out: sure, Ryan Gosling could play the part himself probably. But it’s the live-action Veggietales movie! Let’s have some fun. That’s why we have to get Chris Hemsworth into the film as LarryBoy. He’s obviously got the experience of being a superhero down. And he’s got the humor and charm that LarryBoy deserves. Hemsworth’s got both physicality and comedic timing for the role, and you just know he would be down for all of LarryBoy’s shenanigans.
