Recently, NFL superstar Carson Wentz teamed up with a local church in Philadelphia to launch a food truck which serves free food to communities in need. It’s a really cool project, unfortunately, they named it “Thy Kingdom Crumb.”

Ever since the Christian bookstore candy “Testamints,” Christian businesses and products have been a breeding ground for dad-joke level puns that are more cringe-inducing than inspirational.

We recently asked RELEVANT Podcast listeners to tell us some of their ideas for Christian business-based puns, and they did not disappoint.

Here are some of our favorites.

Egg seller: Equally yolked
Catholic car repair shop: Cruci-fix auto
Boat launching service: Docks-ology
Beachfront Chinese restaurant: Wok on Water

Corbin Birch

 

Coffee shop: Shadrach, Meschach and ABEANtogo … “We’re roasting all day long.”

Talley Mac

 

Mall kiosk pop-up for threading and waxing: “Brow down before Him”

Rebecca Hancock

 

Southern Baptist electrolysis hair removal business: “Once shaved, always shaved”

Patch

 

“The Thief Comes” Security Systems
“Lay My Head to Rest” Sleep Systems
Delilah’s Salon & Spa
Goliath Protein Powder
“Find Your Boaz” Dating Service
“Thy Will Be Done” Legal Offices and Mortuary Services

Derek Kenney

 

“Saul to Paul” Optical Care
Lazarus Lawn Care: “We resurrect your dead lawn!”

Kenny Roberts

 

“Fissures of Men”: A Christian spelunking company
“Hedge of Protection”: Christian landscaping and home security

Scott Korin

“Father, Bun, Holy Toast” Bakery
“TriniTea” Tea Company

Chandler Williams

“Milk & Honey” Ice Creamery
“Wise Stewards” Accounting Firm
“Refiner’s Fire” Woodfire Pizza
“Eye for an Eye” Attorneys at Law

— Stacey Hausler

Dentist Office: “Crowned with Many Crowns”

— Kyle Atwell

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