We talk about having a “personal relationship with God,” as if it’s as straightforward as grabbing coffee with a friend. But what does that actually mean when the person in question is, well, God? A being we can’t see, can’t text, can’t meet for brunch on Saturdays?
For years, that dynamic frustrated me. Relationships are built on interaction—conversation, quality time, shared experiences. But how do you build a relationship with someone whose voice doesn’t boom from the sky on command? How do you foster a deep connection when the traditional markers of friendship don’t apply? It took me a while to realize that maybe I was thinking about it all wrong.
Relationships Require Intentionality
The best friendships don’t just happen. Even the ones that start with an immediate click need to be nurtured—texts sent, plans made and depth cultivated. The same goes for knowing God. If I wanted my faith to be more than an abstract belief, I had to carve out time to actually engage with Him.
The problem? Unlike my earthly friends, God wasn’t the one reaching out to set up dinner plans. He wasn’t sliding into my DMs to check in. But that didn’t mean He was absent. The Bible is full of moments reminding us that God’s intentionality has been there all along (Psalm 139:13, Luke 12:6-7). The challenge is recognizing it—and responding.
That response looks different for everyone. Maybe it’s setting aside a quiet morning to read, journal, or pray. Maybe it’s a long run where you let your mind process through the lens of faith. Maybe it’s stepping away from the noise of life to pay attention to the divine in the mundane. The key isn’t the method—it’s making the space.
Communication Goes Both Ways
Intentionality is a start, but no relationship thrives without communication. And this is where things get complicated. Because in our human relationships, conversation is reciprocal. We talk; we get a response. With God, the dialogue feels different.
Prayer is often framed as talking to God, but it’s just as much about listening. And listening to God doesn’t necessarily mean waiting for a mystical voice from the clouds. Sometimes, it’s as simple as sitting with Scripture and paying attention to what resonates. Sometimes it’s noticing the quiet pull of conviction or encouragement in a moment you didn’t expect. Jesus promised the Holy Spirit would guide us into truth (John 16:13-15), but that guidance isn’t always flashy—it’s often a slow, steady shaping of our understanding.
Love is More Than Emotion
In human relationships, love is proven over time. It’s not just words—it’s action, commitment, sacrifice. With God, it’s easy to get stuck in a transactional mindset: If I do this, then I’ll feel close to Him. If I pray more, read more, serve more, then our relationship will deepen.
But God’s love doesn’t operate on an if/then system. The foundation of our relationship with Him isn’t built on what we do—it’s built on what He already did. Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross wasn’t a moment of emotional expression; it was the defining act of love that makes a relationship with God even possible.
Our response, then, isn’t about earning His love—it’s about living in response to it. Loving God isn’t just a feeling; it’s reflected in how we engage with the world. In how we serve others, in how we extend grace and in how we let His presence shape our choices.
A Relationship Unlike Any Other
A relationship with God doesn’t fit neatly into the frameworks we’re used to. It won’t look like your friendships, your romantic relationships or your family dynamics. But that’s what makes it worth pursuing.
It’s a relationship where you are already known, already loved, already invited in. And the more space you make for that reality—the more you lean into intentionality, conversation, and a life shaped by love—the more you’ll realize that God has been reaching out all along.
