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Why I am Kate

Why I am Kate

Has it really been seven weeks since I said I would answer my own question?

In my June 22 (Holy Craptastic!) post, I waxed eloquent regarding the spiritual significance of ABC TV’s “Lost” and wrapped it up with the question/comment “Which castaway are you? I am Kate.” Of course, now that I think of it, giving a seven week hiatus between a “Lost” question and a “Lost” answer really isn’t that long at all.

Why am I Kate? Because Kate is convinced that the only way she will be “Found” is by doing and earning. She came onto this island having left the real world marked like Cain with a “Most Wanted” poster in every post office in the nation. However, considering no one ever goes to the post office anymore, she probably wasn’t in any real danger. Suddenly, she found herself marooned with 41 others who knew nothing of her sinful past (well, 40 others. But Jack smothered the one who knew pretty quickly. So, you know: bonus). You would think that this would elate Kate, convince her that she could really become someone new in this land where the worst version of herself was unknown. But, this wasn’t enough for Kate. She felt that she needed to have more than a clean slate. She felt she needed to earn a good one. To this end, most of her attempts have been centered around what I would call a “form of penance.” No one wears guilt like Kate (if that is her real name – BA DUM DUM!).

This is easy to observe, but much more difficult to internalize. I KNOW that there is nothing I can do to earn God’s grace in my life. I know that I am unable to brownie-point my way to “foundness,” but darn-it-all if most of my days don’t center around that exact pursuit. I see a lot of myself in Kate. I see that sense of “Sure. You like me because I can climb trees with nothing more than my ankle muscles and a toothpick — but if you REALLY knew who I am, I would be an outcast.”

But, we love her anyway. Why?

Because we, as the audience, know the one thing the castaways do not know.

They are ALL outcasts.

And so are we.

Not one of us, not one has it all together. Not one has the coveted clean slate. Not one is above reproach. But, the enemy of our souls spends most of his time attempting to convince each of us that we are the least, the worst, the only. Sometimes, I see a “Lost” character’s backstory and it makes me want to scream at the screen. “WHY DON’T YOU JUST TELL THESE PEOPLE WHAT YOU JUST SHOWED ME!” It’s simple to see how much understanding, love, acceptance, and unlostness would come from such shared information.


I wonder if it would be the same with all of us.

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