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RELEVANT’s 5 Rejected Pitches for the ‘God’s Not Dead’ Quarantine-Centric Sequel

The God’s Not Dead cinematic universe has covered everything from atheists trying to shut down Christians to …well, OK, that’s about all the universe has covered, but it’s found three movie’s worth of material there. This film franchise stands ever ready to repurpose its central concept of Christians finding ways to stand up to irreligious bullies for any and all contexts, so we just know the God’s Not Dead writers’ room is buzzing with pandemic season scenarios.

And so are we. RELEVANT is always happy to help get the creative juices flowing over in tinsel town, so we thought we’d share our pitches for a quarantine-centric God’s Not Dead movie. While we haven’t heard back from the powers that be yet, we assume they’re just trying to pick which one to greenlight.

God’s Not Dead: School’s In

America’s About to Get an Education …in Freedom

Rev. Dr. Arthur Goodman is the president, chaplain and most popular professor at Benjamin Franklin Christian College. But when a pandemic hits America, The Government tells him that he’ll have to send all the BFCC students back home for the remainder of the semester, where they will be forced to study the works of Bertrand Russell and Ricky Gervais. Goodman refuses, igniting a national firestorm around the question of what’s more important: religious liberty or jackboot fascism. In the end, the students of Benjamin Franklin Christian College form a human chain to protect Goodman from arresting officers.

God’s Not Dead: Take Me to Church

This summer …hope is in Bloom(TM)

Pastor Chris Christiansen is the senior pastor of First United Harvest Agape, the nicest church in Iowa. But when the pandemic hits, church members find themselves unable to attend Sunday service thanks to an army of outraged hospital workers who block the streets and bar the doors to the church. The members of Harvest Agape circumvent the healthcare professionals’ evil intent with a new software called Bloom — a free* video conferencing platform that allows them to continue to meet in the safety of their own homes. Get one month of Bloom Premium free with the purchase of a ticket God’s Not Dead: Take Me to Church and text “God’s Not Dead: Take Me to Church” to all your friends via the Bloom app. Some restrictions apply.

God’s Not Dead: Emergency Room

The only way to find a hospital for you soul …is on your knees

Dr. Haley Loojah is the top physician at Friedrich Nietzsche Medical Center, where she tries to be a light in the darkness. When a pandemic hits, Haley’s colleagues discover a treatment: any time a doctor writes “Christianity is for Dorks” on their patient’s forms, their symptoms alleviate. Most of the healthcare workers are excited at this breakthrough, but Haley is faced with a complex moral emergency that will put her faith to the test like never before.

See Also

God’s Not Dead: Good News

Breaking: The Devil’s Hold

Felicity Kindheart is an anchor for the WGN morning show when she is given a curious pandemic assignment to go cover the lunatic rightwing protestors demanding the government re-open America. Unfortunately, the planned protest is a bust and only two people show up, both wearing facemasks and behaving politely. That’s not good enough for her boss Darwin McDarwinface who demands she photoshop the zombies from World War Z into her footage to make the protest look worse than it is. Felicity secretly records McDarwinface’s instructions and is faced with a choice: follow his orders and keep her job? Or air her secret recording and expose him for all to see.

God’s Not Dead: The Truth Cannot Be Hidden

Might need to workshop this one. Lacks a certain umph.

When the pastoral staff of First Baptist Church in Louisville, Kentucky hears that a pandemic is coming, they’re quick to heed the advice of experts and move to a socially distanced service. Volunteers at First Baptist network with members of their local community to make sure the city’s elderly and immuno-compromised are cared for, setting up a grassroots grocery delivery service. The pastoral staff urges congregants who are less affected by the economic downturn to use their financial resources to help those who are, including freelancers and gig workers who find their work drying up. The church connects with local government officials to set up its church facilities as a makeshift coronavirus testing center, providing Kentuckians with easy access to safe medical testing. It’s a difficult season that requires sacrifice from everyone, but the curve is slowly flattened and First Baptist stands as a community example of caution and compassion.

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