Let’s be honest, when someone tells you what their favorite Bible translation is, you fairly or unfairly make certain immediate assumptions about that person; caricatures will pop into your mind.

And when it comes to our favorite Bible translations, we can get pretty defensive.

Bible translations can often be hot-button topics for believers that can cause arguments, debates and division. But it’s time for a definitive list on what your favorite Bible translations really has to say about you:

New International Version (NIV)
3 Things You Can’t Live Without: Button-downs and flannels because suits are for squares, Jesus Calling devotional book, Instagram
Most Likely To Be Spotted At: The only vegetarian restaurant in town
You Have The Uncanny Ability To: Find the perfect verse for every situation even if no one wants to hear it right now

English Standard Version (ESV)
3 Things You Can’t Live Without: Skinny jeans and cardigans, iWhatever (pad? pod? phone? watch?), black-rimmed glasses (you might not actually need them but you’ll never tell)
Most Likely To Be Spotted: Running from church to SoulCycle
You Have The Uncanny Ability To: Read the newest Timothy Keller book before anyone else has had a chance to

King James Version (KJV)
3 Things You Can’t Live Without: Your favorite pew spot, the Left Behind series, McDonald’s coffee
Most Likely To Be Spotted At: The local Cracker Barrel before 5 p.m.
You Have The Uncanny Ability To: Use the King’s English while praying.

New American Standard Bible (NASB)
3 Things You Can’t Live Without: Alternative transportation, a backpack, your blog (though it hasn’t been updated since 2009)
Most Likely To Be Spotted At: A conference that’s largely attended but no one sees you at the break-out sessions
You Have The Uncanny Ability To: Inform anyone, even a complete stranger, that you know a tad bit of Greek.

New King James Version (NKJV)
3 Things You Can’t Live Without: The Jesus fish on your car, The Prayer of Jabez starter-kit, zip-up Bible cover that not only holds your Bible, but also all of your church bulletins
Most Likely To Be Spotted At: dc Talk’s Jesus Freak Reunion Tour
You Have The Uncanny Ability To: Sneak out of church at noon whether the pastor is done preaching or not.

New Living Translation (NLT)
3 Things You Can’t Live Without: Essential oils, your journal, cold brew coffee
Most Likely To Be Spotted At: Wherever the Spirit takes you.
You Have The Uncanny Ability To: Show up late every single time no matter where you go. But you always have a really creative excuse.

The Message Bible
3 Things You Can’t Live Without: The Shack, a hemp necklace, the saying: Don’t give me theology, just give me Jesus.”
Most Likely To Be Spotted At: Anywhere but church.
You Have The Uncanny Ability To: Believe that you’re actually reading a real Bible translation.

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