It all started right after I graduated from college. It started as a sting of pressure as I tried to fake my way through adulting, until it developed into a full-on fever of not knowing what to do with the rest of my life.
That’s completely normal for a twentysomething to go through,” an older friend once told me. But as time passed by the confusion became way too overwhelming. During my quarter-life crisis, life barely made sense to me: I routinely felt clueless and unmotivated. I felt guilty for sinking so deep into desperation and feeling like a lost sheep even though I was a born-again Christian. What I didn’t remember at the time was that Jesus will always find his lost sheep.
Our generation is confident that all questions should have answers—so I went looking for them. We’ll often consult first with self-help books and podcasts, hoping they hold our answers. For me, it was encouraging and insightful at first, but something was still missing.
Every self-help book told me to chase your dreams, but they don’t mention that that all depends on if those dreams come from God. James 4:15 says, “Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’”
1. If you don’t know what your life’s purpose is, go back to your Creator.
Our youth pastor constantly reminds us that if you lose your direction and purpose, you need to go back to your Creator. Why not consult the one who knows your deepest desires and your innermost being? If your computer is broken, surely you’ll contact a computer technician, not a dentist. I was so hard-headed at the time that it took me a year before I finally gave up trying to do it on my own and fully gave Jesus Christ the steering wheel. If there are still areas in your life that you’re holding on to, you can’t truthfully claim that Jesus is Lord over your life.
The answer for my quarter-life crisis was already being told to me, but I rejected it. Maybe it wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear that time, yet praise be to God that His love and grace abounds even in my stubbornness. He is faithful even though we are not.
1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
2. Focus your eyes on the eternal things.
We grew up in a time where chasing your passion at all costs is hailed and being an overachiever is worshipped. That’s probably why we’re so stressed out. It’s all too easy to confuse our achievements with our worth, our identity on how others view us, our sense of security in a career and our futures with our own understanding. Not only are those things not how God views us, but they’re also temporary and in just a blink of an eye, all of those things could be gone. We’re conditioned by society to look for happiness in short-term things, yet we’re still surprised when it doesn’t last.
2 Corinthians 4:18 ” So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
3. God gave you the dream and he will also help you to achieve it.
When God asks us to give up our dreams, we’re instantly disheartened. It’s not an easy thing to do. But we have to remember that Jesus came to earth for us to have life and have it abundantly. You can have lots of dreams and desires in your lifetime, but we all know that not all dreams are beneficial. Some of man’s desires are selfish and futile that may lead to self destruction. Society will convince you to chase dreams that aren’t fruitful. They will keep you busy with thoughts of all the things you “need” to be happy.
Sometimes there are still matters of the heart that is needed to be settled and that’s why we haven’t achieved that huge goal we’ve set for ourselves. That is how faithful our God is: He desires for us to fully enjoy our blessings, giving it to us when our character and heart are ready to handle it.
Habakkuk 2:3 “But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!”
Use your quarter-life crisis as an awakening and a reminder of what’s most important.