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Nicolas Cage and FKA Twigs Will Play Young Jesus’ Parents in New Horror Movie

Nicolas Cage and FKA Twigs Will Play Young Jesus’ Parents in New Horror Movie

In some of the worst Hollywood casting ever, Nicolas Cage will be playing Joseph, the father of young Jesus, in a new horror movie titled The Carpenter’s Son. The film will focus on the period of Jesus’ boyhood where he’s between 5-12 years old. That would make his mother Mary — being played by FKA Twigs — somewhere between 19-26 years old, so of course casting a 60-year-old Cage to play Joseph makes perfect sense.

The film’s director, Lotfy Nathan, is pulling inspiration for the story from the apocryphal Gospel of Thomas, which includes stories of Jesus’ youth. The Carpenter’s Son is choosing to explore this often-overlooked part of Jesus’ life through a horror lens.

According to the film’s synopsis, “The Carpenter’s Son tells the dark story of a family hiding out in Roman Egypt. The son, known only as ‘the Boy’, is driven to doubt by another mysterious child and rebels against his guardian, the Carpenter, revealing inherent powers and a fate beyond his comprehension. As he exercises his own power, the Boy and his family become the target of horrors, natural and divine.”

Cage has been cast as “the Carpenter,” alongside Twigs (Honey Boy) as “the mother” and Noah Jupe (A Quiet Place) as “the Boy.”

Which begs the question: was no one else available? If a white person is going to be cast, is Andrew Garfield too busy? Did Chris Evans not pick up the phone? Has Hollywood truly lost the plot so much that Nicolas Cage is the only viable option for Jesus’ dad?

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