It is not easy being single these days.
If, unlike me, you haven’t had to suffer enter the world of dating apps, it’s w i l d out there. But don’t just take my word for it — here are 25 totally real, totally unhinged prompts from dating app profiles that prove why a lot of us would rather just stay single:
Thank you for clarifying after marriage, but it’s still a no from me.
So, we don’t have to be on the same page? Got it.
If that’s your best travel story, remind me to never ask about your worst.
Weird hill to die on, but kudos on sticking to your beliefs.
Who hurt you?
The first step is acknowledging that you have a problem. The second is to seek immediate help.
This is not a controversial opinion. This is actually just a straight-up lie.
This is a great way to get someone to respond to your profile because now I need to hear the whole story.
Why not years 0-2?
Appreciate the honesty!
As far as dad jokes go, this one is pretty bad.
Siri, play “Sweet Home Alabama!”
I don’t think you know what a love language is…
Prove it.
I am praying you don’t mean pasta and milk together.
Just a heads up, the point of these apps is to find someone who will date you. There seems to be some confusion.
I can’t say this is a skill many people have. Probably for good reason…
This isn’t the flex you think it is.
It seems like you’re the one with the red flags, buddy.
Either you’re a detective or a murderer. Regardless, I’ll have to pass.
What did meatballs ever do to you?
So close, yet so far away.
That’s suuuuuuper helpful, Susan.
That’s on you for setting up a date on April Fool’s Day.
Is that a… good thing?
