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RIP to the Choco Taco, Mankind’s Most Perfect Treat

The ice cream sandwich. The sundae. The Mcflurry. Over the course of history, humanity has conjured up a number of excellent ice cream treats, all of which are the veritable cherry on top to any summer day worth having. But above all reigned Klondike’s Choco Taco. And now, the king is dead. He died a hero’s death, taking a bullet straight from the barrel of capitalism, but his legacy will endure. 

In life, the Choco Taco was a tireless champion of the sweet tooth, a few scoops of ice cream, with a chocolate ripple coursing through its being like lightning through Thor’s veins. It was wrapped in a waffle cone “shell” and topped with chocolate and nuts. Simple, yes, but there was undeniable strength in its simplicity. 

The Choco Taco’s life began in 1983 at the hands of a Philadelphia miracle worker by the name of Alan Drazen. Eater spoke to Drazen in 2016 about what it correctly called “most beloved and innovative of all the American ice cream ‘novelties.’”

“When you eat a sugar cone, you generally eat the nuts, chocolate, and ice cream on the top, and then when you get to the cone, you’re [only] eating ice cream and cone,” Drazen told Eater. “With the Choco Taco you’re getting the ice cream, cone, nuts and chocolate with just about every bite.”

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Now you see the genius of Drazen’s creation, and why the man deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as the likes of Tom Edison, Benjamin Franklin and Johannes Guternberg himself. Those men invented ways to create light, channel electricity and print books. But Drazen elevated summer itself. 

Klondike did not explain the Choco Taco’s demise but then, some tragedies are beyond explanation. We would get no true closure, no matter how thorough the documentation. So let us not mourn its death but celebrate its life, knowing that if there is indeed a Heaven for sweet treats, the Choco Taco is there even now, working its ice cream magic in the great beyond. 

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